If you fear engulfment, it means you’re afraid of losing yourself in a relationship. This can come from growing up in an enmeshed family, where boundaries were unclear and you felt like you had to be someone other than yourself to please your parents. If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Here’s what you need to know about the fear of engulfment. It is an anxiety disorder characterized by an intense fear of being overwhelmed and consumed in close relationships.

What is the fear of engulfment and where does it come from?

The roots of the disorder are commonly found among people who experienced tangled family dynamics while growing up, where one’s physical and/or emotional boundaries were not respected. Encumbered with the fear of repeating the same cycle once in their adult lives, such individuals tend to suffer when dealing with innermost feelings. They often feel uncontrollable dread when faced with the prospect or even the suggestion of intimate closeness.

How can fear of engulfment impact your relationships

Fear of engulfment can significantly affect relationships, as it causes individuals to put up walls to avoid feeling overwhelmed or easily swayed. This fear prevents them from letting someone else in, often leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection in their partnership.

Those with a fear of engulfment may experience an inability to trust other people, and this lack of assurance can manifest in behaving defensively or controlling the relationship dynamic. Ultimately, those suffering from the fear must take the time to recognize their anxieties around intimacy issues if they want to heal and create healthy connections with others. They need to get comfortable with team effort and overcome a reliance on living in their own space.

Family dynamics can cause a fear of engulfment. This happens when people don’t respect each other’s physical and emotional boundaries. Growing up might make them scared of getting close to someone else in their adult life, so they put up walls to protect themselves from feeling overwhelmed.

If you suffer from this fear, you may lack self-compassion, engage in serial dating, and worry about abandonment issues. It’s likely you’ve tended towards short-term relationships and have difficulty expressing your private thoughts.

Symtoms of a fear of engulfent

Fear of engulfment can manifest itself in many ways, and its symptoms will vary depending on the individual. Those with this disorder may feel an overwhelming sense of fear in close or intimate relationships. They might be afraid of being taken over and losing themselves to someone else, and as a result, they may distance themselves from their partners.

Physical Relationships and Emotional Intimacy

The engulfment can make it difficult for two people to share physical moments. Additionally, intimacy may be affected as those with this disorder may feel scared or unable to open up about their feelings during moments of emotional closeness.

Romantic relationships

Understanding emotional intimacy is an essential element of having a healthy, fulfilling relationship. If you experience fear of engulfment, it is important to recognize your anxieties around relationships and take the necessary steps to heal and create strong emotional connections with others.

Insecure attachment styles

It may also be a symptom of fear of engulfment. People with this disorder may struggle to trust and open up about their feelings due to the fear of being overwhelmed or taken over in a relationship. They may feel uncomfortable and anxious when faced with emotional or physical closeness, as they are scared of being too vulnerable.

Sexual abuse

Those who have experienced sexual abuse may find themselves struggling to trust and open up in their relationships due to the trauma they experienced, leading them to feel overwhelmed and out of control when faced with intimacy. It is important for those who have experienced sexual abuse to take the necessary steps

 Self-love and self-care

To heal from the trauma and to create a safe space for themselves in personal relationships. It is also important to practice self-love and self-care to ensure that you care for your needs before trying to establish or maintain an intimate relationship with someone else.

 Physical contact

Contact can be intimidating due to the fear of being engulfed or consumed by the other person. It is important to recognize this fear and work on establishing healthy boundaries in order to develop trust in any relationship. Furthermore, it is essential to take the time to get to know someone before engaging in physical contact and to talk openly with your partner about what makes each of you feel comfortable and safe.  Creating a safe space for yourself and your partner allows you to explore physical contact without feeling overwhelmed.

Inner dialogue

Becoming mindful and recognizing negative patterns can help to reframe your beliefs around relationships and make it easier to open up and trust in future connections.

If online therapy doesn’t seem suitable, consider switching to Headspace. As an application focused on mindfulness and meditation, Headspace offers a range of resources designed to enhance mental and emotional well-being in a user-friendly way. Here’s why it may be an appealing option:

Try HeadSpace.com to manage and treat fear of intimacy or of commitment

Accessible Mindfulness and Meditation: Headspace introduces mindfulness and meditation in a non-intimidating and user-friendly manner. The app uses easy-to-follow instructions and simple, engaging animations that guide beginners through the basics. Rather than throwing you into the deep end, Headspace gradually introduces new techniques, allowing users to build their confidence in meditation and mindfulness practices.

Extensive Content Library: Headspace features a vast library of content covering mental and emotional well-being topics. The library includes resources for improving emotional health, nurturing relationships, and enhancing workplace mental health. By offering such a diverse range of topics, Headspace ensures that users can find content that aligns with their unique needs and goals.

Free Trials and Discounts: To make its offerings more accessible, Headspace offers a free trial for its web and app subscriptions. This allows potential users to explore the app’s features before committing to a paid subscription. Additionally, Headspace offers significant discounts for students and families, making it a cost-effective choice for those on a budget.

Versatile Features: Headspace incorporates additional features to support overall well-being beyond meditation and mindfulness. This includes mindful movement workouts for those looking to integrate mindfulness into their physical exercise, sleep sounds to assist with restful sleep, and SOS sessions for moments of stress or panic. Daily highlights also provide users with regular inspiration and motivation.

Tips for managing fear of engulfment

If you experience fear of engulfment, practicing setting healthy boundaries in adult relationships and strengthening your sense of self can be helpful. Identify what activities give you a sense of comfort or confidence and build them into your daily life. This could include anything from journaling to physical activity, such as yoga or any other exercise that makes you feel focused and powerful. Positive affirmations can also combat the fear of engulfment by leaving us with a feeling of empowerment rather than anxiousness.

Learning to recognize the physical sensations associated with feeling overwhelmed is an important step for those wanting to overcome their fear of engulfment; when these sensations become present, take a few moments to assess the situation and practice calming strategies such as deep breathing exercises. If possible, try talking to a trusted professional about any underlying concerns that are causing the fear in order to get personalized help along your journey.

Resources for those seeking help with fear of engulfment

Many therapists specialize in anxiety disorders and have experience helping clients overcome their fear of engulfment. Additionally, online therapy platforms are available if you would prefer a more private setting. Support groups can also be helpful for those looking to find comfort and guidance. Contact a local mental health agency or crisis hotline if you feel overwhelmed or unsafe.