Breaking Down Barriers: What to Talk About in Therapy

Are you struggling to make progress in therapy? Do you feel like your conversations are going nowhere and don’t seem to be helping? It could be that you aren’t discussing the right topics.

Therapy is more than just addressing crises – it’s a unique opportunity for personal growth and exploration. You can talk about anything that might be causing you distress or related to why you came in, but the possibilities don’t end there. Your therapist is there to listen and help facilitate conversations explicitly tailored to what’s important to YOU.

Some common topics that are useful to talk about in therapy include: exploring traumatic events, identifying and dealing with unhealthy patterns of behavior, how you express your emotions, the things that trigger or frustrate you, episodes of grief or trauma, your job, how to build support systems, and how to set boundaries with others around you. Therapy is personal, so many other topics may be helpful for you to talk about.

Therapy can help you gain insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, but it is essential to discuss the right things to be effective. In this article, we will explore what to talk about in therapy.

What are the Types of Talk Therapy?

Talk therapy is a powerful tool for improving mental health and well-being. Four types of talk therapy have proven effective in helping people reach their goals. Each type of talk therapy has its unique approach to dealing with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship problems, or substance abuse.

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on connecting your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to identify unhelpful or unhealthy patterns.

2. Psychodynamic Therapy: This therapy examines unconscious motives, conflicts, and defenses to understand how they affect current behavior.

3. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT): This type of therapy focuses on understanding our relationships with others to help us better understand ourselves and our problems.

4. Transpersonal psychology takes a holistic view of physical and mental health and considers spiritual well-being.

5. Family Therapy: This type of therapy looks at how family dynamics can contribute to mental health issues and how the family can work together for healing and growth.

Main Benefits of Therapy

Therapy can be a great way to work on your mental health, providing an opportunity for personal growth and insight.

a man sat on a couch in therapy

We can learn how to better cope with difficult emotions and experiences through therapy. Before we discuss what to talk about in therapy, here are some of the reasons why speaking with a therapist can be a huge help:

  1. Improved Mental Health: Talking through your emotions and experiences in therapy can help improve overall mental health by helping you gain clarity, perspective, and insight into yourself and the world around you.
  2. Increased Confidence: By understanding our thoughts and feelings better, we can develop greater self-confidence to make the right decisions.
  3. Increased Self-Awareness: Therapy helps us become more aware of our inner selves and our external environment, which can help us take action when needed or recognize warning signs before a problem gets worse.
  4. Reduced Stress & Anxiety Levels: Expressing how we feel without fear of judgment or criticism can reduce stress levels and help us process difficult emotions in a healthy way instead of bottling them up inside or turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or self-harm.
  5. Improved Relationships With Others: Working with a therapist to understand how early life experiences shape our current relationships allows us to identify unhelpful patterns in communication styles so they can be addressed appropriately with others rather than repeating old patterns that led to conflict in the past.
  6. Coping Skills Development: Therapy helps individuals learn how to manage their emotions and allows them to practice their coping skills in a safe environment.
  7. Managing anger and frustration: If you’re prone to outbursts of anger, this is another area therapy can help. In his new book ‘Spare,’ Harry, The Duke of Sussex, described how therapy helped him “able to process that anger and frustration” that many of us experience.

What Can You Talk About in Therapy?

According to Dr. Tori Olds of DeepEddyPsychotherapy, therapists will likely ask you the following questions in your first session.

  • What brought you here?
  • What are your goals for therapy?
  • How will you know when you have met your goals?

You could journal these thoughts in advance. But if you’re not sure, the therapist will help you with the answers to these questions.

According to Olds, some of those goals could be “increased self-compassion, [the] ability to manage anxiety or connect[ing] more effectively with other people.”

Whether you are starting therapy or are in the middle of it, here are some topics you can explore in your next therapy session.

Explore Traumatic Events

Traumatic experiences, whether recent or from your past, can be difficult to talk about. But discussing past trauma in a safe and supportive environment with your therapist can help you understand how they have impacted you and move towards healing.

Your therapist can provide tools and strategies to help you cope with the pain so you don’t feel like it is consuming your life. Through exploring these traumatic events, you can gain insight into why certain thought patterns or behaviors happen and learn how to respond better in the future.

Identify Unhealthy Patterns of Behavior

It is important to recognize unhealthy patterns of behavior such as substance abuse, self-harm, OCD, or codependency so that we can work on changing them. Talking about these patterns in therapy can help us gain insight into why we engage in them and allow us to devise a treatment plan for dealing with our issues in healthier ways.

Set Up Goals and How to Work Towards Them

Therapy is a good place to set goals for yourself and work towards making positive changes in your life. It can be helpful to talk through these goals and how you plan to achieve them so that you have someone holding you accountable and providing support every step of the way.

You can stay motivated on your journey toward self-improvement by talking about progress made, roadblocks encountered, and adjustments made.

How to Express Emotions in a Safe Space

Sometimes it can be difficult to express emotions, especially if you haven’t been taught how. Talking about your feelings in therapy can help you learn how to recognize and identify them, as well as provide a space where it is safe to do so without judgment or criticism. Your therapist can help you understand why certain events evoke certain emotional responses and provide tools on how best to manage them.

Understand Your Triggers and How to Manage Them

All triggers set off intense emotions or behaviors like panic attacks. It can be helpful to discuss these in therapy so that we can gain insight into why they happen and learn how best to respond when we encounter them. This could involve learning relaxation techniques, tools for grounding yourself, or strategies for dealing with difficult people.

Practice Self-Care Strategies

Self-care is an important part of maintaining good mental health, but it isn’t always easy to practice. Talking about self-care strategies in therapy can help us develop a plan for taking care of ourselves that works best for us. This could involve creating support systems, setting boundaries, or figuring out what activities help you relax and recharge.

Process Grief and Losses

Grief and loss are stressful events to discuss, and people can commonly experience PTSD, but talking about them can also be an important part of the healing process.

Discussing these feelings with your therapist can provide much-needed understanding and compassion during this difficult time. It can also help you recognize how things might have been different if the loss had not occurred and allow you to move forward in a healthier way.

a patient and a counselor drinking coffee during a therapy session

Professional Support & Guidance

A therapist is there to support you no matter what topic you decide to talk about, providing guidance and insight so that you can better understand yourself and learn how to manage difficult emotions or situations in positive ways.

Build Support Systems

Talking to a therapist can help build a therapeutic relationship. It helps you identify resources and people in your life who can provide support when needed for you and your family members or friends.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

A therapist can help you recognize what boundaries are healthy for you and how to set them so that you don’t overcommit yourself or allow others to take advantage of your generosity.

Exploring Relationships & Communication Styles

Therapy can also be used to explore relationship patterns with others and explore communication styles that are most effective for each individual. This can help us identify patterns of behavior that may be causing friction in our relationships and learn how to communicate better with others.

Learn Ways to Combat Stress & Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are common emotional responses but can hurt our mental health if not managed properly. Talking about ways to cope with stress and anxiety can help create an action plan for reducing their effects on our lives. This could include learning relaxation techniques, going on regular walks, using aids like CBD, or having positive outlets for expressing emotions.

Address Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma is often something that gets buried deep down inside of us, but it can affect our day-to-day life. It’s important to talk about it in order to heal from the past and move forward in a healthier way. A therapist can provide a safe space to talk about traumatic experiences and help you gain insight into how they may impact your present life.

Recognizing Signs of Burnout & Stress

A therapist can provide support and guidance on recognizing signs of burnout or stress and strategies for managing these feelings healthily. This could include getting more sleep, exercising regularly, or creating a plan for managing tasks and obligations.

Resolving Conflicts & Managing anger

Therapy sessions are also an opportunity to explore relationship conflicts and learn tools for managing anger more constructively. This could mean learning how to identify triggers, setting more effective boundaries, formulating coping strategies, and understanding communication styles best suited to each individual.

These are just some of the topics that can be discussed in therapy. The most important thing is to remember that your therapist is there to support you no matter what topic you decide to talk about. They will provide guidance and insight so that you can better understand yourself and learn how to manage difficult emotions or situations in positive ways.

Tips For Talking About Difficult Topics In Therapy

  • Find the right therapist. It’s important to feel comfortable and safe with your therapist to openly discuss difficult topics without feeling judged. Look for a therapist specializing in your concern or has experience dealing with similar issues.
  • Identify your goals. Before beginning therapy, it is helpful to identify what goals you are hoping to accomplish through therapy and establish boundaries around what topics are off-limits or too personal to discuss.
  • Take time to reflect. It is important to take it slow when discussing challenging topics and reflect on your thoughts and feelings before entering the therapy session. Consider writing down or journaling about your experience so that you can share it in a productive way with your therapist.
  • Practice self-compassion. Talking about difficult topics can be emotionally draining. It’s important to practice self-care and self-compassion by engaging in activities that make you feel good afterward, like taking a walk, talking to a friend, or reading a book.  

Discussing difficult topics in therapy can be essential to improving mental health and gaining insight into our lives. With the right approach and supportive environment, these conversations can lead to growth, healing, and understanding of ourselves and our relationships with others. Hopefully, this guide helps you learn what to talk about in your sessions and helps you resolve your issues.