Long Distance Couples Therapy: Don’t Let the Miles Break Your Smiles.

Long-distance relationships can be rewarding but also challenging. When you and your partner are miles apart, you may face issues other couples don’t have to deal with. However, these problems are not insurmountable. You can make your long-distance relationship work and even thrive with some effort and creativity.

This blog post will explore how long-distance couples therapy and relationship counseling can help you overcome obstacles and grow closer to your partner. Whether you need to improve your communication skills, resolve conflicts, rebuild trust, or spice up your romance, therapy and counseling can offer you valuable guidance and support. Read on to learn how they work and how you can benefit from them.

Common Issues Faced by Long-Distance Couples

Long-distance couples face unique challenges that affect their relationship quality and satisfaction. Some of these common issues are:

Communication gaps: Communication is essential for any relationship, especially for long-distance relationships. However, communication can be difficult when you and your partner have different schedules, time zones, preferences, and expectations. You may struggle to balance too much and too little communication. You may also miss out on non-verbal cues and emotional expressions that can enhance your connection.

Boredom: Long-distance relationships can become boring and monotonous if you don’t try to keep things interesting. You may fall into a routine of having the same conversations, the same book, doing the same activities, or watching the same shows. You may also lose the sense of excitement and novelty that comes with seeing your partner in person.

Losing interest: Related to boredom, you may also lose interest in your partner or your relationship over time. This can happen if you feel disconnected, dissatisfied, or unfulfilled by your long-distance situation. You may wonder if your relationship is worth it or if better options exist.

Drifting apart: Long-distance relationships require a lot of commitment and dedication. However, sometimes your personal life gets in the way, and you may drift apart from your partner. You may develop different goals, values, interests, or lifestyles that make you incompatible or less compatible than before. You may also grow emotionally distant and lose the intimacy and affection you once shared.

Miscommunication: Miscommunication is another common problem that long-distance couples face. You may encounter misunderstandings, confusion, or conflicts when you rely mostly on text messages, phone calls, or video chats to communicate with your partner. You may misinterpret each other’s tone, intention, or meaning behind your words. You may also have difficulty expressing your feelings or needs clearly and effectively.

Physical and emotional intimacy issues: In a long-distance relationship, physical intimacy is only possible when partners visit each other. This leads to a lack of physical intimacy, creating sexual frustration and strain your relationship. The distance can also affect emotional intimacy, as you may have difficulty expressing your feelings, needs, and desires to your partner. You may also feel lonely, insecure, or disconnected from your partner.

Physical and emotional intimacy issues can lower your relationship satisfaction, increase your conflict and resentment levels, reduce your commitment and loyalty, and make you more vulnerable to infidelity or break-up.

What exactly is long-distance couples therapy and relationship counseling?

Long-distance couples therapy and relationship counseling are forms of psychotherapy that can help couples who live apart improve their relationship. They involve working with a therapist or counselor specializing in long-distance relationships through online platforms such as video calls, phone calls, text messages, or chat rooms.

It can help couples with issues such as communication, intimacy, trust, conflict resolution, etc. The service can also offer convenience, flexibility, affordability, privacy, and comfort for some couples who may face barriers to accessing traditional face-to-face counseling.

How Effective is Online Couples Therapy?

Online couples therapy can be an effective option for many couples who want to improve their relationship but face barriers to accessing traditional face-to-face counseling. These barriers may include geographical distance, busy schedules, lack of transportation, health concerns, stigma, or preference. Online couples therapy can offer convenience, flexibility, affordability, privacy, and comfort for some couples who may otherwise not seek help.

Studies have found that online therapy and in-person therapy, in general, can be effective for treating various mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. When it comes to online couples therapy specifically, research suggests that it can also be as effective as traditional face-to-face counseling for improving relationship outcomes such as satisfaction, communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution. Online couples therapy can also enhance the therapeutic alliance between the therapist and the couple, an important factor for successful therapy.

The limitations or challenges of online couples therapy you may consider

Online couples therapy may not be suitable or effective for everyone. Some of the limitations or challenges of online couples therapy may include:

Technical issues: Online platforms may experience glitches, delays, interruptions, or poor quality that can affect the delivery and quality of the sessions.

Privacy concerns: Online platforms may not be secure or confidential enough to protect the personal information and data of the clients. Clients may also have difficulty finding a private and comfortable space to conduct their sessions without distractions or interruptions from others.

Lack of physical presence: It may not capture or convey the non-verbal cues and emotional expressions important for communication and connection between partners and the therapist. You may also miss out on the physical touch and comfort that can enhance their intimacy and bonding.

Suitability issues: The platforms may not be appropriate or effective for some types of problems or situations that require more intensive or specialized care for example, domestic violence, substance abuse, and severe mental illness.

What Does A Typical Session Look Like?

Before the session, you and your partner will choose a suitable online platform and therapist or counselor for your own needs together. You will also find a private and comfortable space to conduct your session without distractions or interruptions.

During the session, connect with your therapist or counselor through video calls, phone calls, text messages, or chat rooms. The mode of communication may depend on your preference, availability, and technical capacity.

The therapist or counselor will introduce themselves and explain the goals and expectations of online couples therapy. They will also ask you and your partner questions to get to know you better and understand your issues.

The therapist or counselor will use various techniques and strategies to help you and your partner improve your communication, intimacy, trust, conflict resolution, and overall satisfaction. They may also give you some homework assignments or exercises to practice between sessions.

The therapist or counselor will end the session by summarizing what was discussed and what progress was made. They will also schedule the next session with you and your partner and answer any questions you may have.

The length of each session may vary depending on the online platform and therapist or counselor you choose. However, most sessions last between 45 minutes to an hour.

Location of the participants & therapist

One of the advantages of online couples therapy is that it does not require the participants and the therapist to be in the same location. This can be helpful for long-distance couples who live in different cities, states, or countries.

Online couples therapy can allow participants and therapists to connect from anywhere with an internet connection and a device such as a computer, tablet, or smartphone. However, some online platforms may restrict the location of the participants and therapists based on their licensing requirements or regulations. For example, some platforms may only allow therapists to work with clients who reside in the same state or country where they are licensed. Therefore, it is important to check the location policies of each online platform and therapist before starting online couples therapy.

What things might you talk about?

Some examples of what people may talk about during online couples therapy sessions are:

Communication: You and your partner may talk about how you communicate, what works and what doesn’t, what you need and expect from each other, and how you can improve your communication skills. For example, you may practice reflective listening, repeating what your partner said to show that you understood them. You may also learn to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming or criticizing your partner.

Intimacy: You and your partner may talk about how you feel about your physical and emotional intimacy, what challenges or barriers you face due to the distance, and how you can enhance your intimacy despite the distance. For example, you may explore ways to express your love and affection through words, gestures, gifts, or surprises. You may also discuss maintaining a healthy sexual relationship through sexting, phone sex, video sex, or sex toys.

Trust: You and your partner may talk about how you trust each other, what makes you feel insecure or jealous, and how you can build or rebuild trust in your relationship.

Techniques & Exercises Used in Long-Distance Relationship Counseling Sessions

One technique that can help you improve your communication is reflective listening. This is where you take turns being active listeners and repeat what your partner said in your own words. This shows that you are paying attention and understanding their feelings and needs. You can also use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to express your emotions without blaming or criticizing your partner.

Another technique that can help you enhance your intimacy is emotionally focused therapy (EFT). This type of therapy helps couples identify and change their negative feelings and patterns of interaction and create a more secure attachment. EFT helps you explore your emotions, needs, fears, and desires with your partner and learn how to respond to them with empathy and support.

Some exercises that can help you maintain your connection and have fun together are:

Regularly schedule your time “together” and plan occasions to see each other – and share the planning equally. This shows that you value each other’s time and presence and gives you something to look forward to.

Send physical gifts and care packages. This shows that you care about each other’s happiness and well-being and gives you a tangible reminder of their love.

Assign each other cute, personalized pet names. This shows that you have a special bond and makes you feel closer.

Get creative with communication and prioritize voice and video calls over text messages. This shows that you want to hear each other’s voice and see each other’s faces, making you stay connected and feel more involved in each other’s lives.

Do things together, such as watching a movie or playing a game online. This shows that you share the same page with common interests and hobbies and it makes you feel more engaged with each other.

Finding the Right Therapist for Couples Therapy

If you and your partner are struggling with issues in your relationship, such as communication, intimacy, trust, or conflict resolution, you might benefit from seeking professional help from a couples therapist. A couples therapist is a mental health provider working with couples to improve their relationship. However, finding the right therapist for your needs can be challenging. Here are some tips on how to find the right couples therapist for you and your partner.

Start online and screen for credentials. You can research to look for couples therapists in your area. You can also filter by criteria such as location, availability, fees, insurance coverage, gender, language, or approach. Look for therapists who have a master’s degree or Ph.D. in mental health and who focus on couples work. You can also check for credentials that indicate specialized training and experience in couples therapy, such as being a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or board-certified in couple and family psychology.

Check with your health insurer about coverage. If you have health insurance covering mental health services, you might want to check with your insurer about their list of preferred providers or reimbursement policies for out-of-network providers. This can help you save money and avoid surprises when paying for therapy sessions.

Ask around. Ask for referrals from people you trust, such as friends, family members, co-workers, or other professionals who have had positive experiences with couples therapy is a very good way to find the right service or therapist. However, remember that what works for one couple might not work for another. You still need to research and evaluate before choosing a therapist.

Be ready with questions. Once you have narrowed your list of potential therapists, you should contact them and ask them questions to see if they are a good fit for you and your partner. Some questions you might want to ask are:

1. What is your approach or style of working with couples?
2. How much experience do you have working with couples who have similar issues as us?
3. How do you handle confidentiality and privacy issues?
4. How do you involve both partners in the therapy process?
5. How do you measure progress and outcomes?
6. How long do sessions last and how often do they occur?
7. What are your fees and payment policies?
8. How flexible are you with scheduling appointments?

Attend a few sessions and give some feedback. After choosing a promising therapist based on their credentials and answers to your questions, you should attend a few sessions and see how you feel. If you have any concerns or complaints about your therapist or the therapy process, you should communicate them openly and respectfully.

If you feel your therapist is not a good match for you or your partner, you should not hesitate to end the therapy relationship and look for another therapist.

Conclusion

Long distance relationships can be challenging, but they don’t have to be hopeless. With the help of online therapy and relationship counseling, you and your partner can overcome the obstacles of being apart and grow closer together.

Online therapy can connect you with a qualified therapist who understands the unique issues that long-distance couples face. You can learn how to communicate better, resolve conflicts effectively, build trust and intimacy, and cope with stress and loneliness. It also has many advantages over traditional therapy, such as convenience, flexibility, affordability, and privacy.

Have you ever tried online therapy for your long-distance relationship? What was your experience like?

my therapist for couple’s counseling said she doesn’t want to be our therapist anymore
by u/agreatkingxerxes in TrueOffMyChest